Managing ADHD during summer vacation
Many children with ADHD feel like an enormous weight is lifted at the end of a school year. ADHD kids are more likely to struggle with the executive functions and attention required in traditional schooling. Nonetheless, the initial euphoria of school letting out can be followed by a huge uptick in problem behaviors, emotional dysregulation, and lack of direction. Here’s why:
ADHD kids (and adults!) thrive in a regular structure. Hours of openness can give a sense of discomfort to ADHD people, who often hate being bored.
While neurotypical people might feel empowered to make healthy choices with big swaths of free time, ADHDers can feel stuck. We can feel paralyzed by all the possibilities and instead do nothing. Or, we flit between one task and the other with no direction.
By late June, my clients are reporting their mounting frustration in parenting therapy, commenting things like: “She says she loves drawing, but I haven’t seen her put pen to paper once all summer!” Parents begin attributing their child’s lack of engagement to laziness, too many screens, and even depression. Sometimes, all that is needed is a schedule or routine that intentionally makes space for the things that help our child thrive.
Scheduling reduces a big barrier to ADHD success: difficulties with initiation. Unless ADHDers are hyper-focused on an interest, we will almost always struggle to initiate an activity. Children who love being in nature, still might not naturally go outside, when, as one 8-year-old client put it, “it is just easier to stay inside.” Our brains are great at finding a million reasons why “not now,” unless there is some sort of time constraint. Similarly, due to our difficulty in mentally tracking time (ie. our inner clocks are busted!), we might let a whole beautiful day pass without doing what we intended to do.
If there is a regular outing or task on the schedule, it is much more likely to happen. Once these ADHD kiddos are actually engaged in the schedule item, they feel stimulated and any reticence usually fades.
Implementing a schedule tends to be the suggestion that gets me the most parental pushback in my private practice. Some parents have an immediate visceral reaction to the idea. Others wish to implement but feel that their lives are too chaotic.
My suggestion is always to start small. Try adding one item to your family schedule, like a family walk or a family reading time. Don’t try to jump into an hour-by-hour schedule out of the blue, because you and your kids will immediately discard it. If you feel that your lives are too chaotic, try planning out and scheduling one day at a time, the night before. Schedules are not meant to be stressors. When implemented with empathy and consistency, schedules actually reign in the chaos and allow our ADHD kiddos to be both free and engaged.
