Why I believe in ADHD positive therapy
I meet many parents when they first receive their child’s diagnosis. Sometimes this can be an uncertain and even mournful time for parents when they come to grips with what they can see as their child’s incurable imperfection. While validating parents’ difficult experience, I am always quick to flip around this distress into an appreciation for their child’s incredible strengths!
You see, I am an extremely ADHD positive therapist. It helps to be a high functioning ADHD adult with 7 (!!) brilliant ADHD family members. It also helps to run a therapy practice where I get to meet so many incredible kids with ADHD. I genuinely believe ADHD is one of my superpowers and I wouldn’t actually “cure” it given the chance. I make sure my clients also recognize their strengths and learn to celebrate and love all parts of themselves.
Of course, I believe in treating and improving distractibility, disorganization, and some aspects of impulsivity. But I know that my wandering mind breeds creativity. I know that my hyperactivity gives me superhuman energy. I am also certain that some of my impulsivity has been harnessed for good and helps make me intrepid and bold.
Without ADHD propelling me, I probably would have turned down a lot of opportunities. A neurotypical mother of four (including a 2-month-old newborn) would not have said “yes” to a job transfer to the other side of the world. I have always embarked on challenging and novel adventures with my ADHD-fueled courage.
Having lived a life with ADHD actually made me better prepared to be fully immersed in a totally new language. My Chinese nanny would speak to me as if I could understand her and I felt completely at home in this dissonance. Before I was able to control my distractability, even in my primary language, I was used to only catching fragments of what people were saying and piecing together their meaning from these bits. Eventually, I bootstrapped a passable fluency in Chinese with sheer ADHD willpower and drive.
I feel that not enough has been written about our strengths.
Yes, I absolutely support the families in my practice in finding the right medication when needed. Yes, I have all the executive function workbooks and coach kids in my practice on how to shine at school. But I also help kiddos appreciate that traditional public schools define intelligence and achievement very narrowly, and our light can often shine brightest outside the box.
This is the celebratory article that I wish I had read long ago when I felt like my brain was undermining me and I didn’t fit anywhere. ADHDers can struggle with self-confidence and hear a constant chatter of negative self-talk. If you get told you are wrong, off, or loud enough times, you really start to believe it!
What if we turned around that language, and instead told this next generation of ADHDers that they were inventive, original, and just loud enough!
You see, regardless of medicating, socializing, and training, our brains will always be physically different. MRIs can distinguish an ADHD brain from a neurotypical brain. As ADHDers, we can sense this difference even before diagnosis. Therefore, seeing neurodiversity with a celebratory eye is a critical part of self-love.
I now feel my difference to be a distinction, not a deficit.
I no longer measure myself by the standards laid out by the neurotypical brain. At my ADHD practice, I bring positive and enthusiastic energy to the serious work of helping a family adapt to ADHD. I encourage my clients to fully notice their strengths and celebrate the best aspects of their brain difference. Our gifts lay beyond standardized measurements. Our brains are not deficient, they are extraordinary.
